Healing, dialogue, and encounter are what the church needs at a grassroots level. Now you may not think that a topic like women’s roles in the church and women’s diaconate would bring about these characteristics in one another. Often, these are characterized as divisive issues in the church. But hosting a St. Phoebe Day celebration in 2023 gave our parish community the opportunity to experience just that—healing, dialogue, and encounter.

I want to share two stories from our St Phoebe Day that showcase how the Discerning Deacons mission is working through our community. To provide some context, our parish is a polarized one. We serve as the Newman Center for university students and also a parish for the resident parishioners. Although this is an oversimplification, the students tend to be conservative while the residents lean towards the progressive side. 

With this in mind, we expected some pushback from the students; despite the fact that women deacons are in fact part of the Catholic tradition, this history is little known. But instead of dismissing these students, we really desired to engage them in dialogue and encounter. A particular student stands out, whose concern about the upcoming event led them to report the event to local church authorities (who, it should be noted, ultimately found no issue with the event). This was an opportunity for the St. Phoebe committee to not react in anger but in curiosity and dialogue.

I was able to meet with the student and ask genuine questions about their concerns, hesitations, and fears. I found this student’s point of view to be insightful and eye opening. I also shared my own point of view. It was a conversation where we both learned and grew. I asked the student if they would be willing to help me put together an educational poster so that we could address questions like theirs for others. The student agreed and even went on to help promote the event. 

The second story I’ll share is from St. Phoebe Day after the liturgy, when we had a panel of women talk about their experience in the church and then we had small group discussions. We wanted the small groups to mirror the synodal process, including prayer, listening, and sharing. We provided three questions for the groups to discuss. In the open sharing, we had groups share from all different points of view. It was one of the few events in years where our intergenerational parish community came together regardless of one’s own opinions and understanding of Catholicism. Seeing our parish come together in this way was invigorating, enriching, and challenging! We got out of our echo chambers to encounter one another. Our parish community’s celebration challenged us to come together not in agreement, but rather willing to dialogue and engage with our differences.  We truly witnessed the Spirit alive in our community in healing, dialogue, and encounter.  

Personally, as a woman working in the church, it can be truly discouraging. Not feeling like I’m fully accepted or embraced for my talents, gifts, and passions by the institution causes me to question on a daily basis how much longer I can do this without burning out spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Being able to be educated on who St. Phoebe is and giving others the chance to meet her, being part of a community of women who promote an inclusive model of the church, and seeing my own community come alive and heal from division provides a vision of what can and will be possible one day in the Catholic Church.